Junebugh8fms Living life with Fibromyalgia

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Thanks to all my friends for sending me all your thoughts and prayers! love ya!~~~~junebug

Hey guys!

It is that time again, time to reflect on the worse day in all of  American history! In hindsight I dont know how our great contry got through that horrible day!

But is was a testimony to our strenght and resolve that we have in this fine contry! I was never more proud to be an American than the following days and week after the terror attack on September 11th!

My heart goes out to the survivors and the families that lost someone that day! My prayers are with each and everyone one of them! May God bless  them all  and  comfort them tomorrow when they reflect on the memories of the ones they lost September 11, 2001!

know everytime I come in here I have some wacked out excuse for not being able to get on here on update my page! Sad thing is that everyone of those e xcuses  are all totally true! And I am pretty sure this one is gonna be the grandaddy of all my excuses but believe me it is so so so true! LOL

So when was my last entry.....ummmm....let me see.. somewhere around the 8th of June? Well since then my mother has passed away, my daddy constantly is in some kinda drama that he wants me to fix! And to be honest I dont feel it is my place to do so! I mean if he had been a normal father and not hurt me the way he did and not treating me like scum of the earth now (not to mention the way he acted towards me as a child!!)

Anyway that all is a huge hot mess! LOL And now that I have realized that my parents had me aleinated me from my whole extended family  and told me that my family thought I was a bad seed and didnt want me! I find out now that my dad cant stop me from going to each of my family members (which I am currently) and finding out that none of this was ever true! It was my parents who keeped me away from them!

My guess is thats because they didnt want me to let the cat out of the bag and tell everyone "Daddy's LIL Secrect! And I never did...never (except 4 telling my brother) for just day shy of my 30 b-say!

well they all know now......and frankly I feel so much more freedom! I feel I can be myself now ya know?

I know I must do something for my father in his old age but what he wants is not possible! He wants to move in w/ my hubby, my daughter and I! Not gonna happen! I have to protect my lil girl at all cost! I have since reunited w/ both sides of my family and most of them agree that I am making the right decision! I know I am!

He even went as far as going to jail for driving while under the influance of narcotic! just to show me that he cant live alone! The told the judge that it was my fault cause I invited him out to a party I was thowing for his b-day! And he had to go or I would get mad! Maybe how the heck was I supposed to know that he was high on his meds? I talk to him on the phone! I had no idea till the cops came to my house and told us that they were taking him to jail, and what did I want to do w/ him when he gets out.

I told them exactly what my dad told me not 2 months ago......he said,"I am an adult, I can take care of my self! And I took you off of all my papers that said that you (me) could make decisions for me!"

And the cop said," But he is severly mentally ill!" I told them to ask his doc cause it was her idea that I should be taken off all his paper work! I know he doesnt need to be by himself but tell the athorities that is like beatting my head against a brick wall!

I mean he could have kill an innocent family with that last DUID! And from what I understand from the rest of my family.....this is not the first time he has acted like this either! Apparently he was a big time drug user before I can remember!

I know I will do what is best to help him cause he IS my father but I will do nothing that puts my baby girl in any kinda danger! Well he goes back to court on the 11 to see what the judge is gonna do w/ him?? So I guess will see what happens then??? In the mean time I have already told him that he is not gonna push me around like he did when I was a lil girl! Im no longer scared of him!

Well I guess this turned into more of a RANT than anything! Not so much of a reason why Ive been away so long! lol But I guess I just needed to get this all off my chest! And as you can see I have been very busy in the last few months since mother has passed!

Oh well I still count my blessing that my hubby, daughter, family and friends are all out there supporting me in whatever I chose to do! Thaks for listening my friend!!! And I promise I am gonna get in here and spruce this place up a lil bit! I am getting kinda tired of looking at it myself, too! lol take care my friends and hugs to you all, and for my fibro friends those are  gentle huggs for you!! love junebug!